I had a great weekend. Went out with a friend Friday night for dinner and drinks, cleaned the house with the help of my handsome husband Saturday and cooked dinner that night, and Sunday we have a weekly tradition of grilling steaks and watching a movie at home. It's my favorite night!
During this time of hanging out with my family and getting stuff accomplished around the house, I realized that I was constantly thinking about what my next daily challenge should be. I was being so hard on myself about it, that I was having a hard time staying in the moment and enjoying my family. Then, I realized how silly that was.
I started thinking about how often I felt I should be doing something more. I am my own worst critic. I am so mean to myself! I wouldn't put the pressure I put on myself on anyone else, so why do I feel the need to put it on myself? I know it's good to challenge yourself, and it's good to have goals, but it's also good to realize that you're not perfect...and that it's okay to not be perfect.
I realized that I hold myself to such a high standard, that it is literally impossible to meet that standard. In my head, I have a million things I feel I should be doing, and because it is seriously not even almost possible to get all of it done in a day, I feel like I've failed.
Nick knows this better than anyone, but when I feel overwhelmed, instead of sorting out what needs to be done in order of importance, I tend to just give up and not do any of it. We started cleaning this weekend, and I felt like there was so much to be done that I didn't know where to start. I think Nick must have seen that all-too-familiar look on my face, because he handed me a trash sack, and told me exactly where to start. He knows me so well.
So, I need to start setting realistic goals for myself. I am not superwoman but I am also not a failure. Setting unrealistic goals can sure make you feel that way in a hurry, though. I have a full plate, and not everything is going to get done every day. It's okay. It'll be there tomorrow.
“When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you.” -African Proverb